Drugs

I used to drugs a long time ago, but not anymore -- not after jail anyhow. Yes, I went to jail once in my life. I was 20 (boy, wish I was 20 again -- I'd probably still be a fuck up though). The only drugs in my life now are coffee and beer. Well, those aren't really drugs but they contain drugs: caffeine and alcohol. I just remembered that alcohol is a word with Arabic origins -- I think that's right. If it's not sue me!

If a snail took a Quaalude, would it just stop moving altogether? And wtf would a humming bird do on cocaine or meth?



I smoked a lot of pot way back. It amazes me that there's no more suspicion over rolling papers for sale in places as there is (what a sentence). I mean, 99.9% of all folks buying them are doing one thing -- rolling joints!!! And, like, 99.9% of all people buying copper plumbing fittings are doing one thing -- plumbing!!!

Yea, I smoked (I keep leaving the "d" off of "smoke" when I try to say, "I smoked weed" ... maybe I'm still smoking it and don't know it) tons of weed. I love that SNL skit where they ran that antiques/headshop and when people would find some ancient-looking bowl and ask 'em what it was used for they'd say, "we're not real sure, but we think they kept their weed in it...."

I smoked so much pot, people found marijuana leaves with me tattooed on 'em....

Anyhow, anymore I just love beer, and coffee, but I don't smoke. I tried smoking once but didn't have the will power. I think it's best not to smoke unless, like, you want to commit suicide slowly -- very slowly. Cuz, I really don't think smokers live as long as non-smokers. You don't see many 100 year old smokers anyhow. I mean, if there were such things wouldn't the tobacco companies put their pics up on bill boards with a caption that read, like, "Mary Sue Williams, 101, smoking since 1924!!! and still alive!!!" I think it'd surely help tobacco. Maybe the idea would catch on and beer makers would put up bill boards that showed a blitzed guy with a caption of, "Ted G. Smith, 42, hasn't been sober in 20 years and never drives below 70!!! And still alive!!!" See! Incentive!...